My Path Is Paved With Daggers

~On the heights all paths are paved with daggers.~ Seanchan saying.

Right now I really want to write something, but I can't concentrate and there is so much flying around. I feel like I've never felt before. I do things I've never done before. I know things I've never known before. I'm not the same as I was before. I've got to be careful with what I say and do. I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to mess up or fail. I want to help, I don't want to bring down. I want to encourage but I don't want to 'father.'

Next subject. Getting back into school isn't as bad as I was thinking it might be. I'm actually a little excited to be doing Calculus and the actually be able to figure things out AND understand them. I do miss sleeping in and having free time all day, though. Now I can't ride over the the Mortimer's whenever I want; I've got to wait until after school gets out. I'm doing pretty well, though, considering the circumstances. Running every morning (Hey, I said I ran, I didn't say I was fast), schooling, riding my bike, reading, loosing a ton of extra weight, gaining some very welcome muscle, and pretty much having a great time with my friends and with life. Earlier today I was looking at the powerpoint presentation that was shown at my dad's memorial service; I really like looking at old pitures. Not only does it help me remember who he was it helps me to see what kind of pictures I need to take so that the memories I'm making right now will last forever. But AARGGH! Sometimes things just get so frustrating, for example, some of friends (cough cough) won't let me take pictures of them and so I barely have any of some of the people closest to me. I mean, how am I supposed to remember all the great and glamourous times we had together if I don't have photo records? So everyone, please let me take pictures of you and us together. So when we all go our seperate ways, I can still remember all the good and bad times that we went through as friends and brothers and sisters. I love all you guys.

When I started writing this I had nothing to say, but as is the way with me, if I start things happen and I'm off to something great.

John